Once you start recognizing the cheating patterns of a male narcissist, it’s hard to unsee the emotional games and manipulation at play.
I dated a narcissist once.
He wouldn’t admit it, of course, but looking back, the signs were loud, sharp, and almost scripted.
It was the kind of experience that aged me emotionally.
So yes, this article is personal. And I hope my story not only opens your eyes but gives you the courage to always choose yourself, every single time.
If you’ve ever felt like your instincts were screaming at you while your mind kept second-guessing, you’re not alone.
Narcissistic cheating isn’t just about infidelity. It’s about manipulation, emotional starvation, and the slow erosion of your self-worth.
Narcissists cheat in ways that make you doubt your memory, question your sanity, and, worst of all, blame yourself.
You might even find yourself beginning to make excuses for him. Trust me, it isn’t a good place to be emotionally.
Here are 10 cheating patterns of a male narcissist often displays.
If any of these hit too close to home, know that it’s not your fault. You deserve more.
Cheating Patterns of a Male Narcissist
1. Love-Bomb, Then Devalue
When I first met him, he was bombarding me with all the love, flowers, texts, attention, compliments, non-stop. I held out for a while, thinking, “No one can be this perfect.”
Turns out, I was right.
Narcissists love to love-bomb.
They make you feel like the most important woman on earth. And once they’ve got you hooked?
They flip the script. You go from being his queen to someone he barely tolerates.
He starts noticing other women, criticizes you over nothing, and makes you crave the guy he pretended to be.
It’s the setup for everything that follows.
And the worst part is how smoothly it happens. You barely notice the shift—until you do.
At the time when I was dating him, whenever I confronted him about not creating time for me, he’d say he was busy and had a lot on his plate.
But he wasn’t busy when he was chasing me. The signs are always there, trust me.
2. Triangulation
This one almost broke me.
He made sure I knew he had “options” constantly name-dropping exes who still called him, showing me flirtatious messages from female “friends,” or telling stories about coworkers who “joked” about sleeping with him.
It wasn’t random. It was calculated.
The goal? To keep me insecure and always fighting to prove I was enough.
It wasn’t just about cheating. It was psychological warfare, a way to keep me in a constant state of competition with ghosts, fantasies, and half-truths.
A narcissist will always make you feel like you compete with other women. He does this by telling you that he has options and that you should consider yourself lucky.
3. Blame-Shifting
Caught him texting someone at midnight? He’d spin it back to me: “You’re always so suspicious. That’s the problem.”
“Oh, why are you so insecure? I’ve been transparent enough. I’m not going to prove myself to you any longer.” Lies.
Lipstick on his shirt? “Must be from that party we went to. Don’t be paranoid.”
Narcissists don’t just lie, they gaslight.
They turn the entire situation inside out until you’re your story’s villain. The more you try to confront them, the more you begin to doubt your sanity.
Eventually, you stop speaking up altogether, and they win.
If you’re currently dating one, trust me when I tell you that he might not change because he doesn’t even see his actions as wrong. Remaining with him is a recipe for depression.
4. Breadcrumbing the Side Chick
He never fully committed to them.
Just enough attention to keep them around: late-night DMs, flirty replies, occasional check-ins.
“We’re just friends,” he’d say, smirking.
And yes, he might be right, he might just be fully committed to you alone—but why should he still keep all the chicks with him?
He kept them in rotation, warm enough to stay, cold enough to deny.
The worst part? You know it’s happening, but he’s always one step ahead of the truth.
And when you try to explain how it makes you feel? He calls you clingy or jealous.
You can never catch him unprepared for his lies.
5. Living a Double Life
There were times he’d disappear for hours. New names in his phone. A second Snapchat. Locked photo vaults.
I knew something was off, but anytime I asked, I was “too dramatic.”
Male narcissists are experts at compartmentalizing.
They can cheat, lie, and laugh with you all within the same hour. They build entire worlds outside of you, yet demand your loyalty like they’re worthy of sainthood.
6. Emotionally Unavailable, But Emotionally Present Elsewhere
He had nothing to say to me. Dry conversations, empty gestures, no emotional intimacy.
But let someone new show up? He became charming, curious, and open.
The attention he withheld from me, he poured out to the next target. I became the routine. She became the thrill.
When you ask him, he’ll say he’s been going through a tough time or having a difficult time at work. He’ll ask for space, only for him to show up elsewhere.
He doesn’t want you to leave him because he knows how valuable you are, but his narcissistic behavior wouldn’t let him commit to you.
It took me a long time to understand that emotional cheating is still cheating.
And emotional unavailability is a form of abandonment.
7. A Constant Need for Validation
Even in a room full of love, he still needed someone else to tell him he was enough likes on his photos, girls in his DMs, and strangers in his inbox.
He couldn’t survive without outside affirmation. And when attention faded, he created new ways to chase it, even if it meant cheating.
That endless void in his ego could never be filled, and I lost myself trying to be enough for someone who was never satisfied.
Never waste your time trying to satisfy all of his wants and needs, because he’ll never get satisfied.
He might even tell you that you’re not loving him enough in the way that he wants. Yes, he may be right.
However, when you’re with the right person, you shouldn’t force love on them. Rather, teach them how you want to be loved and what love truly means to you.
8. Lies, Lies, and More Lies
He lied like he breathed—with confidence, without blinking.
Even when caught, he’d twist the story so well I started doubting myself.
And when did he admit things? It was never genuine. It was a strategic way to make himself look honest, to play the victim, or to guilt me into staying.
He didn’t want forgiveness. He wanted control.
9. Future-Faking With Someone Else
The betrayal wasn’t just sexual. He’d be talking about marriage and babies with me, while telling another woman I was “just a close friend,” he was planning to leave.
He emotionally cheated long before anything physical happened.
Planting seeds, building connections, crafting promises he never intended to keep.
It’s emotional infidelity disguised as innocent conversation. But it hurts just as much.
10. The Recycle & Repeat
He always came back with tears, promises, and convincing speeches about change.
But narcissists don’t change.
Listen, they can’t change. They just reset. Once you forgive them, they hit “restart” on the same cycle: love-bomb, devalue, cheat, deny, discard, return.
The apologies were rehearsed.
The tears were tools. And each time I took him back, I lost another piece of myself. Until one day, I didn’t.
Am I saying you shouldn’t take him back? Of course not. You’re both adults, and you can do what works for you. Because at the end of the day, people do change.
However, if the cycle continues and you see no substantial changes with him, then it has become a pattern, which you should be careful of.
How to Start Healing
Getting away from a narcissist is a kind of rebirth. It’s raw. It’s lonely. But it’s also sacred.
You will cry. You will doubt yourself. But one day, you’ll breathe again. You’ll laugh without second-guessing. You’ll wake up and feel peace instead of panic.
Start small. Block him.
Mute the memories. Journal the things you’ve been too scared to say out loud. Reconnect with your voice.
Therapy helped me. So did the community. And slowly, I began to believe I deserved more.
And you do too.
Wrapping Up
Understanding the cheating patterns of a male narcissist can help you break the cycle before it breaks you completely.
Being cheated on by a narcissist isn’t just betrayal. It’s emotional warfare.
Mine was a long-distance relationship, so while I was battling with the emotional trauma that comes with being in an LDR, I was faced with another emotional trauma.
It’s the constant questioning of your reality.
It’s looking in the mirror and not recognizing the version of yourself that you’ve become smaller, sadder, quieter.
But here’s what I need you to hear: you are not the problem. You never were.
Narcissists feed off empathy, off people who love deeply and forgive easily.
That was your strength; he just used it against you.
Recognizing the pattern is your power. And once you see it, you get to choose differently. You get to choose peace, clarity, truth, and above all, yourself.
So, if this feels familiar?
Walk away. Heal loudly. And never let anyone make you question your worth again.
You’re not alone. And trust me, you’re going to be more than okay.
