Marriage is not easy. I know that you know that, and everyone else knows that too. It’s a commitment between two individuals who come from different backgrounds and can sometimes be from entirely different cultures. But some habits can destroy marriages if they continue.
Not only do they make your partner feel like they’re being ignored or disrespected, but they can also bring down the quality of your relationship with each other overall.
Having a happy marriage is one of the most important aspects of being human. However, the reality is that it’s not easy most people don’t even make it past the five-year mark!
With divorce rates hovering at 50% or higher in some areas, it’s clear many things can happen to harm a relationship over time. So what are these toxic habits that destroy relationships?
Here’s my list of 9 common ones: If you can work on these habits, your marriage will definitely be heaven on earth!
1) Disrespecting Each Other’s Opinions:
It’s easy to dismiss your partner’s opinions, feelings, thoughts, and dreams. But it can have a devastating effect on the relationship. Instead, work together to find solutions that are right for both of you.
We all have different opinions about things but when we disrespect our partner’s opinion by saying things like “That’s stupid,” “No one else would think like that,” or “You’re crazy,” it makes them feel devalued in their own home.
There are better ways to approach this situation such as asking questions about why they feel, the way they do and trying to understand their perspective on an issue rather than dismissing it outright.
2) Not Communicating Effectively
If you want happiness in your marriage, communication is key! But what does communicating well look like exactly? It means being able to talk about your feelings openly without fear of being judged.
Communication is key to any relationship, but especially for marriage. When you and your spouse don’t communicate well, it can be difficult for you to understand each other’s needs and wants, which can lead to resentment or even divorce.
And this is one of the significant problems for couples because it’s often the first step in a downward spiral. It’s one of many habits that can destroy marriages.
It has even been recorded as the major habit that has been destroying marriages. If you don’t communicate with your partner, your relationship is not healthy and you won’t know what they expect from you, and vice versa.
You’ll feel frustrated and unfulfilled because there are things that need addressing that aren’t being addressed at all.
You may even begin to think that they don’t care about what’s bothering you or if they’re happy with how things are going in the relationship (even if they do). This could lead to resentment and other problems over time – which would be devastating!
3.) Not Listening To Your Partner.
Not Listening is a two-way street. The best way to know if you’re not listening is if your partner says, “I feel like I’m talking and you aren’t listening.” This can be a big issue when both of you are tired, stressed, or busy.
Listen with your eyes, ears, and heart. If he says something that makes sense to me and uses logic then it’s easy for me to listen because I’m thinking “that makes sense!”
If he says something that doesn’t make sense but sounds nice (like a compliment) then I probably won’t listen as closely because it doesn’t make sense but it feels good anyway 🙂
But if he says something that isn’t logical plus has an edge or tone behind the words then there’s no way in hell am I going to listen!
4.) Criticism.
Criticism is a sign of disrespect and lack of respect toward the other person. It can also be a sign that you are not listening to what the other person says, or that you don’t trust them.
Criticism can be a form of control, especially if it’s done in a way that makes you feel inferior to your partner. Criticizing is not going to solve problems because it tends to lead to arguments instead.
If someone criticizes you too much, then this behavior will make you feel bad about yourself and cause stress in your relationship as well as hurt feelings between partners.
It means there’s less chance for success in any kind of relationship because people sometimes worry more about their relationships than themselves!
5.) Defensiveness.
Defensive spouses often have low self-esteem. They may go through life believing that they’re not worthy of the love and attention of others, so they build walls to protect themselves from being hurt.
If your partner is defensive, he or she probably lacks trust in you and doesn’t feel you’ll accept him or her for who he or she truly is.
Defensiveness can also be a sign of resentment. In some cases, people become defensive when there’s some resentment brewing inside them towards their spouse.
For example, if one spouse is always trying to control everything that happens in the relationship and refuses to allow the other spouse any level of independence.
Defensiveness can also be a sign of insecurity. It’s a way to avoid criticism and responsibility and to resist change or intimacy.
If you find yourself often getting defensive, check in with yourself and ask if something is going on deep inside. or in the history that is causing you to feel threatened by your spouse’s words or actions.
If you are feeling attacked by your spouse, it would be wise to take the time to reflect on what may have triggered the defensiveness so that you can address it in a more productive way going forward.
6.) Being More Concerned With Being “Right” Than Working As A-Team
It’s important to be right, but it’s not as important as the happiness in the relationship.
If your partner is doing something that you don’t like, sitting down and talking about it will help you figure out a solution that works for both of you and keeps everyone on board.
7.) Contempt and Rudeness.
Contempt is a form of anger, but it’s more than just an emotion. It’s a deeply-felt, negative attitude toward someone—a feeling of disgust or superiority over them.
It can be expressed verbally or non-verbally—it doesn’t have to be spoken to be communicated clearly.
In addition to being destructive to your marriage, contempt can also raise stress levels for both partners in the relationship and make you feel less satisfied with life overall.
Having high levels of contempt in your marriage has been linked with depression and even physical health problems like heart disease!
8.) Not Taking Care Of Yourself Physically And Emotionally.
One of the habits that can destroy marriages if It continues and that we often ignore is not taking care of yourself physically and emotionally.
Most times we are overwhelmed with taking care of the kids and home that we neglect ourselves physically and emotionally.
Taking care of yourself means you put in the effort to make sure you’re healthy and happy in your life, regardless of how much it may cost.
Taking care of yourself physically involves things like exercising regularly, eating right, getting enough sleep, and other health-related habits that keep us going strong through our day-to-day lives.
Taking care of yourself emotionally refers to practices that help you feel good about yourself and rooted in who you are.
These could be anything from meditation or journaling to having a hobby or spending time alone with friends each week.
9.) Not Spending Enough Time Together And Building A Friendship Outside Of Being Parents To Kids Or Spouses To Each Other.
In a marriage, it’s important to spend time together. If you do not make time for each other, then the relationship will suffer and even fail. One of how couples get together is through their children.
However, when you have a child or two running around, it becomes difficult for a couple to focus on their relationship as much as they would like to.
But some things can be done so that this does not happen again in the future.
There are several things that both partners can do to ensure that they spend more time together and build a strong friendship outside of being parents or spouses:
i) You should find time where both of you can go out alone without kids or friends tagging along.
ii) Plan events so that one partner always has something interesting planned at home (e.g., a dinner party).
A healthy marriage can’t survive toxic habits, so work on changing them before it’s too late.
i) Be honest: Are you hiding something from your partner? If so, you must tell them the truth and try to come up with a solution together.
They may be hurt or angry at first, but if you truly care about each other and want to work on your relationship. They’ll understand why you were dishonest in the first place and will forgive you sooner than later.
ii) Talk through your problems as soon as possible after an argument instead of letting resentment build up inside of either of you over time (which is likely).
The longer these issues go untreated, the harder they’ll be for both parties involved to deal with later on down the line. When things have gotten even more complicated than before (or simply not gone away at all).
It’s always better for couples who want their marriage to succeed long-term than those who don’t.
And if yours doesn’t yet feel like it’s working out…it could very well mean time spent apart until things get better again between partners!
Conclusion
So, what’s the takeaway about habits that can destroy marriages? If you want to have a healthy marriage, you need to make some big changes. Don’t let toxic habits destroy your relationship.
Keep in mind that these are just 9 of the most common negative habits that can ruin your marriage; there are plenty more out there!
But if you can pinpoint which ones of these habits can destroy marriages that might be affecting your relationship right now. Take steps towards changing them, then hopefully this article has helped point you in the right direction.
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