Dealing with a daughter who blames her mom for everything can be difficult.
This is because she sees that her mother is responsible for any negative things that happen to her, so she blames her mother for them.
Sometimes, it is expected for adult children to blame their mothers for how they were raised.
Even as a mom, you may have found yourself in some instances where you had to blame your mom for something that happened to you.
However, it becomes worrisome when such a daughter refuses to take responsibility for her life and blames her mom for everything that happens in her life.
Why Does She Blame Her Mother?
So many factors may be responsible for why a daughter blames her mom for everything.
Sometimes, the problem may not be her mom.
It could be that the daughter herself is the reason or external factors like peer group or people who influence her.
In this article, I’ll list the factors that make a daughter blame her mom.
1. Depression
Depression may come in so many ways, and for some, when they are depressed, the closest people to them become enemies.
This may be one reason some daughters blame their moms for certain things in their lives.
They might just be depressed and looking for how to fix their life and with this.
They decide to pour out their feelings about everything going on in their life by blaming their mom for the cause of the misfortune.
This may be paramount if her mom was very close to her before she got depressed.
2. Low Self-Esteem
A daughter struggling with low self-esteem is likely to blame her mother for something in her life.
This is especially true if you, as the mother, didn’t help boost her self-confidence while she was young, or if you were always belittling her and trying to undermine her self-esteem.
3. You Made Her A Victim Of Gender Stereotypes As A Mom
If you, as a mom, have also been influenced by the stereotype that society places on the female gender.
Then, when your daughter grows up, she may blame you by stating that you didn’t allow her to become the best version of herself because of her gender.
She may even have self-hatred for herself as a victim of gender stereotypes.
However, as much as the fact that some mothers allow the way they train their children to be influenced by societal norms.
Mothers are not solely responsible for everything that their daughters become.
4. Your Daughter May Be Dealing With A Mental Illness
People with sight-poor levels of conscious awareness may struggle with always blaming people.
And this is because they lack the ability and insight into what they can control and what they cannot.
So, your daughter may probably be blaming you for everything that happens in her life and shifting the blame to you because she is battling with a mental illness.
5. Your Daughter Is Being Influenced By Someone Else
Another reason your daughter may be blaming you for everything that happens in her life is that she is being influenced by someone else.
In such cases, this particular person may intentionally try to come against you for so many reasons.
It could be her newfound lover, partner, friend, or even a social media connection.
And if you’re a single mother, your ex-partner may just be the one offering her some comments and allowing her to choose a side between the two of you.
How To Deal With Your Daughter Always Blaming You
The issue of mother blaming can be very difficult to tackle because, in most cases, the mothers are left to be the victims.
It can be very painful as a mother when you see that a daughter who you’ve sacrificed everything for turns her back on you and begins to blame you for everything going on in her life.
Nevertheless, a few tips can help you deal with your daughter’s tendency to blame you for events in her life.
1. Love Her Irrespective
The bond between a mother and her daughter is unfathomable.
In a situation where the daughter makes the mother the victim, this type of love may gradually fade away.
But irrespective of the childishness of your daughter for always blaming you for her misfortune, you should always learn to love her, nevertheless.
Because when she sees you do this, she might be inspired to change her thought pattern toward you.
2. Understand Her Motive
This is another aspect that mothers need to consider. The first question to ask when you see that your daughter is blaming you.
You need to ask her the motives behind all that she is doing.
Because she may be doing it unconsciously and needs help with a particular aspect of her life.
3. Communicate with her frequently
Communication is another factor that will help you bridge the gap between your daughter’s perspective and yours.
So don’t limit yourself to friendship with her; rather, get closer to her.
Listen to her mind and bring up conversations about why she thinks you’re guilty of how her life turns out to be, and know the exact way she feels.
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4. Book A Counselling Session For Her
Many factors may contribute to why your daughter blames you sometimes.
A daughter who blames her mom for everything should be booked for a counseling session.
She may just need help outside the environment.
So, if you can, try booking a counseling session with her with a therapist and allow her to express the way she feels towards you.
She may probably speak up if she speaks with a professional.
5. Stop Trying To Defend Yourself
If you know that you’re truly not guilty of everything she’s accusing you of, don’t defend yourself by apologizing to her at every point.
Rather, explain to her that you’re not the cause of whatever is happening to her at that point in time.
Don’t defend yourself; just love her unconditionally.
Conclusion
It takes a large level of maturity and understanding to deal with a daughter who blames you for everything.
So, if you find yourself in a situation like this as a mother, try your best not to take it to heart, especially if you know that you’re not guilty.
If you have a daughter who blames you for everything, consider trying these tips to help her.
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