How To Deal With A Daughter Who Blames Her Mom For Everything

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Dealing with a daughter who blames her mom for everything can be difficult.

This is because she sees that her mother is responsible for any negative thing that happens to her, so she blames her for it.

Sometimes, it can be expected for adult children to blame their moms for how they were raised.

Even as a mom may you have found yourself in some instances where you had to blame your mom for something that happened to you.

But, it becomes worrisome when such a daughter refuses to take responsibility for her life but blames her mom for everything happening in her life.

Why Does She Blame Her Mother?

So many factors may be responsible for why a daughter blames her mom for everything.

Sometimes, the problem may not be her mom.

It could be that the daughter herself is the reason or external factors like peer group or people who influence her.

That is why in this article I’ll be listing out the number of factors that makes a daughter blame her mom.

1. Depression

A daughter that blames her mom for everything

Depression may come in so many ways and for some, when they are depressed the closest people to them become enemies.

And this may just be the reason why some daughters blame their moms for certain things going on in their life.

They might just be depressed and looking for how to fix their life and with this.

They decide to give a downpour of everything going on in their life by blaming her mom for the cause of the misfortune.

This may paramount if her mom was very close to her before she got depressed.

2. Low Self Esteem

A daughter that blames her mom for everything

If a daughter is battling with low self-esteem then she is bound to blame her mother for something going on in her life.

Especially if you as the mother didn’t help to boost her self-confidence while she was young or you were always belittling her and trying to look down on her esteem.

3. You Made Her A Victim Of Gender Stereotype As A Mom

A daughter that blames her mom for everything

If you as a mom have also been influenced by the stereotype that society places on the female gender.

Then when your daughter grows up she may blame you by stating that you didn’t allow her to become the best version of herself because of her gender.

She may even have self-hatred for herself as a victim of gender stereotypes.

However, as much as the fact that some mothers allow the way they train their children to be influenced by societal norms.

Mothers are not solely responsible for everything that their daughters become.

4. Your Daughter May Be Dealing With A Mental Illness

A daughter that blames her mom for everything

People with sight poor levels of conscious awareness may struggle with always blaming people.

And this is because they lack the ability and insight into what they can control and what they cannot.

So, your daughter may probably be blaming you for everything that happens in her life and shifting the blame to you because she is battling with a mental illness.

5. Your Daughter Is Being Influenced By Someone Else

Another reason why your daughter may be blaming you for everything happening in her life is that she is being influenced by someone else.

And in such cases, this particular person may intentionally try to back her against you just because of so many reasons.

It could be her newfound lover, partner, friend, or even social media.

And if it happens that you’re a single mother, her father may just be the one feeding her with some comments and allowing her to pick a side between the both of you.

How To Deal With Your Daughter Always Blaming You

The issue of mother blaming can be very difficult to tackle because, in most cases, the mothers are left to be the victims.

And it can be very painful as a mother when you see that a daughter who you’ve sacrificed everything for turns her back on you and begins to blame you for everything going on in her life.

Nevertheless, there are a few tips that will help you deal with the fact that your daughter is always blaming you for things happening in her life.

1. Love Her Irrespective

The bond between a mother and her daughter is that which is unfathomable.

And in a situation where the daughter makes the mother the victim in her life, such type of love may begin to fade away gradually.

But irrespective of the childishness of your daughter for always blaming you for her misfortune, you should always learn to love her nevertheless.

Because when she sees that you do this, she just might be inspired to change her thought pattern towards you.

2. Understand Her Motive

This is another thing that a mother needs to look into, the first question to ask when you see that your daughter is blaming you.

You need to ask her the motives behind all that she is doing.

Because she just may be doing it unconsciously and needs help over a particular aspect of her life.

3. Communicate with her frequently

Communication is another factor that will help you bridge the gap between the perspective that your daughter has towards you.

So don’t limit yourself to friendship with her, rather get closer to her the more.

Listen to her mind and bring up conversations about why she thinks you’re guilty of how her life turns out to be and know the exact way she feels.

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4. Book A Counselling Session For Her

A lot of actions may be responsible for the reason why your daughter is blaming you and sometimes.

A daughter that blames her mom for everything is to book her for a counseling session.

She may just need help outside the environment

So, if you can try booking a counseling session with her with a therapist and allow her to express the way she feels towards you.

She may probably speak up if she speaks with a professional.

5. Stop Trying To Defend Yourself

If you know that you’re truly not guilty of everything that she’s accusing you of, then don’t defend yourself by apologizing to her at every single point.

Rather explain to her that you’re not the cause of whatever is happening to her at that point in time.

Don’t defend yourself just love her unconditionally.


It takes a large level of maturity and understanding to deal with a daughter that blames you for everything.

So, if you find yourself in a situation like this as a mother try your best not to take it to heart, especially if you know that you’re not guilty.

If you have a daughter who blames you for everything then try helping her out with these tips above.

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