You’ve probably heard of long-distance relationships or LDRs. But are they really that different from regular relationships?
Are they worth it? And what happens if things go south on your LDR?
Long-distance relationships can be quite difficult to maintain if you are not really intentional about it. There are some harsh facts about a long-distance relationship you need to know.
Trust me, so many times; long distance can be a lot of work as you get to spend a long time away from your partner.
It takes more time, commitment, sacrifice, and even more communication than relationships where you get to see yourself physically.
And for these reasons, you must be ready to go into it with the mind of being prepared for everything and anything that comes with it as you might go through a lot of things even while at it.
The only connection you have in a long-distance relationship comes through constant communication.
3 Harsh Facts About Long Distance Relationships
There are various reasons why people go into long-distance relationships. It may be for the case of study, work, and the search for better opportunities or climes.
To give you a better idea of what it’s like to be in an LDR, I’ve outlined 3 harsh facts about long distance relationships below:
1. Your Emotional And Sexual Needs Cannot Be Met At All Times.
One of the 3 harsh facts about long distance relationships is that your sexual and emotional needs cannot be met all the time.
It’s more considerate if you both don’t have any sexually inclusive commitments with this, you’re left to deal with only the unavailability of satisfying your emotional needs all the time.
A romantic relationship is where you can be vulnerable with your feelings and emotions.
Meaning that, you even have feelings and emotions for the person in the first place, with this you’ll love to receive emotional validation, emotional support, and everything that comes with being in a relationship.
You may not get this all the time if you are in a long-distance relationship. As a matter of fact, the absence of physical contact in LDRs can tell on your emotional needs.
Imagine going through one of the toughest seasons in your life and all you need is your partner to hold your hands and tell you that all will be alright.
This may not happen all the time in a long-distance relationship.
I mean, you both may get to video call, texting, or voice chat every day… All thanks to technology. But, nothing feels the space of physical presence.
Here are some reasons why you can’t get satisfied with your emotional needs all the time in an LDR;
- You’ll miss your partner more often and sometimes feel lonely.
- Sometimes, you may not be committed to each other
- They may be busy chasing their own lives that they almost forget that they are in a relationship
- Conveying your emotional needs in words may be quite difficult. And if it isn’t, they may not understand all the time.
But deciphering the current emotions of your partner and reacting to them immediately is one thing that LDR may not provide you with.
And if you lack emotional intelligence you may always get angry at yourself or your partner for not recognizing or acting towards your emotional needs.
Someone close to me once complained about having been misunderstood by his partner whenever he texts her in a certain manner.
To her, the guy doesn’t care about her emotional needs because of the way he conveyed them through typing. Meanwhile, he meant something entirely different.
This is one of the challenges that come with being in a long-distance relationship. You both may not know how best to handle your emotional needs.
2. It Breeds More Jealousy Or Insecurity Than You’ve Ever Imagined.
Another fact about long-distance relationships is that, if you are not careful and intentional about your partner, you may begin to grow jealous and insecure along the line.
If you’re the type that still battles with low self-esteem or you aren’t sure if the love that your partner has for you is certain then you may always think that they are cheating on you as time goes on.
Subsequently, this may breed distrust among you both.
Certainly, a long-distance relationship takes extra time and effort.
And if you are not committed enough, you may get to lose the whole vibe that comes with it along the line.
For instance, if your partner fails to communicate with you as they use to do when you were physically together, you may begin to think that they are doing so because of a third party that you don’t even know.
Whereas, they may be just busy or unavailable to meet all your demands or communication all the time.
In situations like this, you may begin to ask yourself questions like.
Hope they aren’t getting admired by someone else
I am even enough for them?
Do they love me even with everything going on?
Are they seeing someone else?
All these and a quite number of other questions may begin to run through your mind.
If you want to get inclined into a long-distance relationship you must trust your partner to a certain degree or else, as time goes on, you may begin to think that they are getting attracted to someone else.
And that’s why I’ll say that a long-distance relationship takes more of trust and faith. Because you never might tell what your partner is doing over where they are.
Therefore, to succeed in a long-distance relationship, you must communicate as often as you can.
Although, your communication is to be as sincere and vulnerable in conversation as much as you can.
3. You May Lose Attraction And Intimacy Along The Line
This is another harsh truth about a long-distance relationship;
If you’re not deliberate enough, you may lose attraction for each other.
Because of the fact that physical intimacy is scarce in a LDR, it could be challenging to retain attraction.
Another tingling thing is that if you are not careful enough you may begin to get physically intimate with someone else.
When the two partners involved in LDR finally decide to meet, in a bid to compensate themselves for not being together for a long while, they come up with an expectation or list of everything they want to do to enjoy that particular season.
And if they are unable to fulfill these expectations from each other, it may lead to annoyance or disappointment. This makes the intimacy gradually reduce even while being physically together.
Whereas, in a relationship where you get to see yourself, you don’t have to go through the process of planning how you’ll spend time to together whenever you meet.
These are one of the things that aid in losing intimacy with your LDR partner
- Comparing your LDR partner with someone else
- Investing too much time with them and not getting reciprocated
- Getting too intimate with someone else
- Unavailability of LDR partners to be physically available in some moments of their partner’s lives.
One of the things that breed attention in partners is intimacy and when the intimacy is not as consistent as it uses to be then, the attraction part can be sidelined.
I’ve heard a quite number of married women who are in a long-distance marriage complain that over time; they’ve loosed their attraction and intimacy with their husband.
And trust me, this is even beyond sex. Intimacy with your partner is actually beyond sexual activities.
It’s evident in little actions that breed love.
If your love language is acts of service, quality time, or physical touch, being in a long-distance relationship can be quite difficult because your partner may not always be around to provide all these.
Being in a long-distance relationship is something you really need to be sure about before starting out.
This is because it takes a quite number of extra effort and commitment.
And unless you are mature enough to curb your emotional needs you may always get angry at your partner for not satisfying you with it.
These 3 harsh facts about long distance relationships are just a few of the numerous harsh facts about being in a long-distance relationship.
So, before you dive into it, you must be emotionally and physiologically ready for everything that comes with it.