There are a lot of signs that a married man is only using you for his benefits alone.
If you’re reading this then you probably are in a relationship with a married man, and you definitely have your reasons for doing that.
Nevertheless, you can always tell by some signs that he is not reciprocating the energy you’re putting into seeing that the relationship works out.
There are a lot of chances that he is not only using you but he is as well taking advantage of you.
And there may be one reason for why you’re are still with him, it may be for various reasons or probably you’ve got to grow fond of him over time.
Whatever the reason maybe there is a high chance that your relationship with a married man may never be definite and it is only for a temporal time.
And this fact may battle your self-esteem.
Although, a married man may be treating his mistress well in their own definition of how treated well should be defined.
Nevertheless being treated well is not the same as being giving you the value that they deserve.
Do You Gain Any Value By Dating A Married Man?
Let me start by saying that, you may not get the right value in the long run if you’re dating a married man.
Because there is a huge difference between someone caring for you or paying you right and the person actually offering you the value that you’re worth.
Although, this married man can offer you anything in terms of money, sex, material possession, or whatever thing that you want.
But at the same time, I want you to be aware that all those may be temporal and even if it happens, it won’t last for long. This is something you should know.
A married man may never leave his wife for you because whatever he gets from you he may also get from his wife.
With this, you can see that there are a lot of probabilities that a married man is using you but you may not even know in the long run.
I’ll be shortlisting a few signs to show you that a married man is using you for his benefit alone.
Signs That A Married Man Is Using You
1. He Doesn’t Care About You.
This is one of the major signs that a married man is using you, if all he does is to get something from you without caring about you personally then he doesn’t love you.
If a married man is dating you then there are two things that are peculiar;
- You have something which his wife doesn’t have.
- Or, you offer him that particular thing in a better way than how his wife does.
Or, he just decides to be selfish and covetous by seeking pleasure from a mistress.
If a married man doesn’t care about you then he’s only using you.
Caring about you involves stuff like
- Getting to know you better by being interested in your personal development and growth
- Being available for you whenever you need him.
- Asking about your personal life
- Taking note of whatever you tell him
- Making you his priority
If the married man that you are dating doesn’t do any of these then he doesn’t love you and he is using you.
2. He Doesn’t Share Intimate Or Deep Details About His Life With You
This is another sign that a married man is only using you.
If you don’t know about his life as much as you ought to then he’s using you for the moment alone.
If the man truly loves you and he wants to make a life commitment with you then he’ll be free to share some of his life events, experiences, moments, details, and everything going on in his life.
When he doesn’t share certain things about his life with you then trust me, you’re only a means to an end and he is definitely using you.
3. He Pays You To Be Silent.
Whenever a married man pays you to be silent about the relationship between you both then, he’s only using you.
If you’re so attached to him that you threaten to take the relationship to another level by letting his wife or family know.
If he goes ahead to shower you with either cash gifts or a physical gift, this is a means to pay for your silence.
Paying you is meant to keep you silent and away from his family most especially his wife.
If he does this, then he doesn’t have any plan to further the relationship between the both of you.
He doesn’t want people around him to be aware as well, this is a great sign.
Mind you, if you always also accept his gifts and money for you to be silent then this is a great sign that you’re using him as well.
And this becomes transactional.
This transaction implies that he doesn’t see you as a part of him but rather as someone whom he can escape the responsibilities of his home with.
Buying your silence with money only makes you an option to him.
This is one of the great signs you need to see that he’s using you.
4. He Doesn’t Bring Up The Issue Of Marriage
Truth be told, a large number of married men will never divorce their wives just to marry their mistress.
So don’t be surprised if the married man you’re dating doesn’t bring up the issue of marrying you one day.
Or whenever you try to bring it up, he always shuns you.
If a married man has no plan to leave his wife for you then he’s using you.
He definitely wants to spend the rest of his life with his wife and family and not you. I’m really sorry to break your heart.
Even if he tells you that he might eventually marry you, it’s just a word on the tongue and no action may proceed from it.
If the married man you’re dating doesn’t take a serious plan in seeing that you both get married then he’s seriously using you.
5. He Only Discusses Sex Whenever He Meets With You
Most of the time, what a married man looks for in other women is sex…
If he only calls you when you both have to meet just to have sex then trust me, he’s using you.
6. He Has Other Women Too
If a married man is dating you then you are his mistress, and one sign to know that he’s only using you is if he has another mistress as well apart for you.
If a married man can leave his wife to chase after you by dating you then he probably may have another lady whom he chases after as well.
So, when you find out that you’re not the mistress in his life, it is evident that he’s only using you.
7. He doesn’t want you to get pregnant for him
If the married man that you are currently dating doesn’t want you to get pregnant then he doesn’t see any long-term commitment with the both of you.
This is one great sign to know that he’s using you for sex alone.
If he always insists that you shouldn’t get pregnant for him by preventing pregnancy or he insists on abortion whenever you get pregnant for him then trust me, he has zero life commitment plans for you.
What To Do When You See The Signs That A Married Man Is Using You
There is actually nothing else to do when you find out that a married man is using you than to flee from him.
When you find out about this, the first question to ask yourself is; can I offer him more value than his wife?
And you already know the answer.
If you can’t then he’ll never leave his wife for you.
So, the best thing to do is move forward with your life and build a relationship with someone who is worth your value.
If a married man is dating you and you agree to date him back then you’re doing so because of what you want to get from him as well maybe money, materials things, or anything.
With this, you get to find out that not only is he using you, but you’re also using him to achieve an end goal.
That is, both of you are using each other. Doesn’t that sound interesting?
Dating a married man is not only risky but it puts the tag of a mistress on you as well.
It’s more difficult when you find out that a married man is using you to achieve a goal.
The smart thing to do is to leave in order to have the best life for yourself.