Why Am I Obsessed Over An Ex? And How To Stop Obsession

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You really can know how to stop obsessing over an ex.

Although, moving on after a breakup with an ex might be quite difficult and it could be more difficult if you’re obsessed with them.

Over time, I’ve been obsessed over an ex, and trust me, it wasn’t an easy route to walk past.

Being obsessed with my ex made me lose myself.

I didn’t see what other relationships could offer me but rather, I stayed glued to him even when it was clear that we just weren’t meant to be together.

Remembering this phase of my life made me realize the negativity of being obsessed over an ex.

You are probably like me, and that’s why you’re currently reading this article.

The feeling of being obsessed with your ex can be quite complicated

When you’re obsessed over someone, you’ll always have thoughts of them running through your mind.

This may intensify into you engaging in action which may not be best for your mental state.

One minute you love them, the next minute you hate them because you’re stuck to them and you simply cannot wrap your head away from that fact.

To get over your ex you need to know why you’re obsessed with them in the first place.

Knowing this will give you practical steps on how to stop being obsessed with them.

In this article, you’ll read on why you are obsessed and how to stop obsessing over an ex.

It may relate to your ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend, ex-husband, ex-wife, crush, or ex-partner.

Is Obsession Over Your Ex Normal?

As I said earlier, it’s normal to get entangled with your ex after a major breakup because you both shared a great part in each other’s life when you were together.

However, you should know where to draw the line so it doesn’t affect your mental and physical health.

Moreover, it is expected that after a certain period, you’re meant to move on.

But if you don’t move on from them, that experience might continually linger on your mind.

Signs That You’re Obsessed With Your Ex

  1. You think about them every time.
  2. You ruminate over the past experiences you both have together.
  3. You constantly feel confused, and anxious; you believe that your obsession means that you’re still in love with them.
  4. You overlook all their bad attitude and consume yourself with their little positive habits
  5. You neglect your family and friends
  6. You find it difficult to sleep, eat, or think normal
  7. You feel that you have a strong spiritual or soul connection with your ex.

Now we are going to examine the reasons why you are obsessed with your ex.

Why You Are Still Obsessed With Your Ex

1. You Were Not Initially Ready To End The Relationship

how to stop obsessing over an ex

One of the few reasons why you still feel obsessed with your ex is maybe because you never wanted the relationship to come to an end.

It may have happened as a shock or an impulse decision and now you realize how much they mean to you that you still want them around.

And for this reason, you still find yourself wanting to be around them thus leading to obsession.

2. Your Breakup Left You In Despair

Breaking up with someone you were truly in love with and committed to may leave you in great despair.

If you are not careful enough, you may get depressed and tarry in a place of grief and mourning.

It could be an obsession with your ex that is still keeping you down.

3. You Preferred Who You Were When You Both Were Together

how to stop obsessing over an ex

If you’re obsessed with a particular ex of yours then such obsession may come from them and not you.

And one of the reasons why you’re still obsessed with your ex is because you had the best time of your life with them and you both made really beautiful memories together.

Maybe there was a positive habit that they helped you cultivate or the relationship itself brought out the best in you.

Owing to this fact, you’ve refused to move on ever since the breakup happened.

4. It Was Your First And True Love

History has it that people even after their breakup with their first and true love still linger in love for them.

This is because; they’ve never experienced any type of love apart from that particular one so they gave all it takes into that relationship.

People generally believe that they will continue in love with their first love.

But life happens and when they eventually depart from each other it becomes difficult to move away totally from them.

So, one reason why you are still obsessed with your ex might just be because they were your first and true love ever.

5. You Had Great Sex Together

how to stop obsessing over an ex

Let’s face it; sex is a big deal in some relationships and moving on from an ex who gave you great sex might be quite difficult.

It might be more difficult if your current partner or subsequent partner hasn’t been able to beat your ex-capacity on the bed.

You might just remain obsessed with them for that reason forever.

6. You Haven’t Been In Love Since Your Ex Left

Moving on from an ex may come quite handy if you find another companion real quick.

However, it might be difficult if you’ve received no romantic advances from others.

No one wants to remain in that that process of just getting over an ex which route might be lonely or miserable.

But when you’re vulnerable to a new person, it makes it easier to get over your ex by moving on and loving another person.

But, if you’ve not been above to find love since you broke up with your partner then being obsessed with your ex wouldn’t be farfetched.

How To Stop Being Obsessing Over An Ex

Being aware of the major reasons why you still remain obsessed with your ex, the problem is half solved.

Now here are the steps to take to stop being obsessed with your ex

1. Embrace Acceptance

The first step on how to stop obsessing over an ex is accepting that you’re indeed obsessed with this given person.

Telling yourself this truth will give you the boldness to take the bull by the horns and face reality.

Acceptance is when we take responsibility for our lives and actions.

So firstly accept that you’re obsessed with this person and remind yourself that it’s a problem that needs to be resolved.

So, even if your mind decides to tell you otherwise, tell yourself that you’re obsessed with this person and it is your responsibility to come out of it.

When you do this, you’re one step away from the freedom you need from being obsessed with your ex.

2. Discipline Your Mind

how to stop obsessing over an ex

Another thing you should do when trying to come out of an obsession with an ex is to discipline your mind.

And to do this, you’ll have to cut off the excessive thought of them that ruminate in your mind every time.

Start by disciplining yourself from this bad habit by cultivating a healthy habit that fills your mind.

3. Focus On Who You Want To Be

Another way to stop obsessing over an ex is to focus on making yourself better.

During the period of obsession with your ex, it is so easy to fill yourself with the thought of your ex that you forget to chase your own life.

In other not to get to this level, you’ll need to focus on becoming the best version of yourself.

You were once in love with this person. Fine, but you both are no longer together.

This means it’s time to move on, chase your dream, and eventually find another love if you want to.

4. Write Down Everything That You’re Feeling

how to stop obsessing over an ex

Like I’ll always say, journaling is therapeutic; it is one of the best methods to pour out what you’re feeling.

So, as you write it down, acknowledge them.

Write down what you didn’t like about your ex; write why you broke up or why the relationship came to an end.

Ask yourself if you have any control over making you both come back together.

Writing down your feelings towards your ex will make you more accountable to the process of moving on from them.

5. Live In The Moment

If you find yourself still lingering on your ex then, you’re yet to live in the present and still living in your past.

Focus on the so many beautiful things that you’re currently living for and to do this, you’ll have to get busy with things that make you happy.

Find out what you’re passionate about and follow them.

  • Go outside and enjoy the calmness of nature
  • Read books on mindfulness
  • Connect and hang out with friends.
  • Listen to good music that puts you in the mood.

Doing all these will make you pay little or no attention to what conspired between you and your ex.

6. Cut Off All Ties With Your Ex

how to stop obsessing over an ex

Your ex isn’t meant to be enemies with you, but you’ll be doing yourself so much harm by keeping them in your space even when they are yet to get over your head.

Doing this will only make you fantasize more about them and will give room for welcoming them back into your life.

And this wouldn’t be a good option especially if the relationship ended on a ‘not do good ground’.

So, keep all forms of distance from them, you can stop communicating if you have to, stop following them on social media, and distance yourself from things or people that remind you of them.

7. Seek Professional Help If You Need To

how to stop obsessing over an ex

To stop being obsessed with your ex, one of the practical steps is to accept help from professionals who are skilled in that aspect.

Feel free to express your feelings about the way you feel to your friends and family.

Talk about it without dwelling too much on the past.

 Use conversations like this to let your feelings out and reflect on the situation.

Additionally, you can also seek help from counselors or therapists who will offer professional advice to you.

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Other Ways On How To Stop Being Obsessing Over An Ex

  • Embrace the end of the relationship
  • Clarify your thoughts
  • Give yourself some time to heal
  • Spend less time with your phone rather than engage in physical activities
  • Delete your ex from your social media
  • Don’t act on emotions
  • Remember why you broke up


Being obsessed with an ex is not an easy park to walk in.

 However, knowing the reason why you are obsessed with them and following the practical solutions to stop the obsession with them as stated above will be of great help.

Trust me; you can live above your ex.

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